Happy Birthday Jackson

My sweet Jackson, today is your birthday! Happy Birthday my baby boy! How can a year have gone by so quickly? I feel as if you were just born, so tiny, new, and helpless but then I look up and see you zooming around the house. And when I saw zooming I mean zooming! You are everywhere and in everything right now.

You are such a little adventurer! When I was pregnant with you I prayed that you would be full of life, happy, and healthy. I would hold my hands on my wiggling belly; you were active even in the womb, and pray for you every day. You are an answer to those prayers in every single way. I remember when you were first born how perfect your warm creamy skin was, how you barely even cried – you just opened your little tiny eyes and all I would say is “I love you so much.” I’ve never been so overcome with such strong, overpowering love before. I couldn’t put you down for months – I would wrap you in my arms and kiss your peach fuzz head, tiny nose, and pink cheeks. I will never forget that brand new small you had – I could just breathe you in all day. And some day that is all I did. Even now as you are toddling around and exploring  my arms ache to hold and cuddle you.

You are so bright and full of life. I love how your eyes twinkle when something excites you or when you are proud of yourself. I’ll never forget that twinkle when you took your first steps. You knew you were on the brink of something big and exciting. You looked at me and smiled – you looked so proud and a little shocked that you just walked down the hall by yourself.

            You love the outdoors – I think it’s my Colorado blood running through your veins. You love to pull the grass up and mash it between your fingers, to look at the birds and clouds as they pass by, and crunch the fallen leaves between your pudgy little hands. You cry when we have to go back inside – I think you are a child of nature. It’s a good thing there is a while world out there for you to explore. You’ve already been to Colorado and you loved hiking, touching the cold water by the waterfall, grabbing the river rocks, and making moose calls. We took you hiking and your Dad carried you on his back and you screeched with happiness the entire time. You are 100% a nature boy and I love that about you.

You, my son, are fearless; nothing daunts you. When we went to the ocean you crawled right into the waves and when they lopped over you, you didn’t cry, you just looked a little stunned but that little twinkle was in your eyes. I love that about you and at the same time that strikes fear into my mothers heart. You look life full in the face and take on everything that comes your way with such a fearless attitude.

I can already see your strong will coming out in your personality. My parents and your dad say I deserve your little strong willed nature. Apparently, I have quite the strong will myself. We are in for quite the ride, you and I. But I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that I, by no means deserve you. I imagined what you would be like when you were still in my tummy and you are everything I could have dreamed of and oh so much more. You are the absolute best part of my life – you have changed me – you made me a mother. You excite me, amaze me, teach me, push me, and wear me clean out by the end of the day. I adore you my little boy. I don’t deserve you but I’m so very thankful that God gave me you to look after and love beyond all reason.

A year ago today a tiny 7 pound 6 ounce 19 inch long baby boy was placed in my arms and I whispered “I love you so much” and that overwhelming love is as true today as it was when I first saw you. I love you with everything I have, with my whole heart. Happy Birthday Jackson!